"Shitty First Drafts", "Why I Write", "For Authors, Fragile Ideas Need Loving Every Day” and “To See Your Story Clearly, Start by Pulling the Wool over Your Own Eyes” Reflection

The hardest part about finishing a piece of writing is starting it. Once I begin, words just start to flow. Of course my first piece is not the best but I always have to work at it to make it better. Starting is difficult because I have not developed a habit of writing, and I must practice in my free time as if it was a sport. The authors, Anne Lammott, Joan Didion, Kent Haruf and Walter Mosley show that a writer needs to find its muse, and make a habit of writing in order to make a stunning piece of work. As a writer I am very lazy and leave things to last minute which always harms me at the end. Reading these short stories on the variety of ways to help me write has inspired to me find my own pattern. How I am as a writer was really summed up for me in one sentence, In “Shitty First Drafts” by Anne Lammot. The author wrote, “It’s not like you don’t have a choice, because you do – you can either type or kill yourself,” [Lammot – 16]. Basically, I write because I am forced to. I have never made it a habit to do it in my own time. I have never kept a journal or a diary for that matter. The closest I come to writing is ranting on my Tumblr.

My fears when it comes to writing, is having people read my work and criticize it as if it is the worst thing they have ever read. Reading both Lammot’s and Haruf’s story I have learned that it’s best to write blindly at first and to later on switch my brain to the critic in order to have a piece of writing that I am proud of. In “To See Your Story clearly, Start by pulling the Wool over Your Eyes” by Kent Haruf a good method was mentioned that I could use to eliminate my fear in writing.

“I remove my glasses, pull a stocking cap down over my eyes, and type the first draft single-spaced on the yellow paper in the actual and metaphorical darkness behind my closed eyes trying to avoid being distracted by syntax or diction or punctuation or grammar or spelling or word choice or anything else that would block the immediate delivery of the story,” [Haruf – 87].

Blocking out all of my insecurities and fear of mistakes can surely help me in finally eliminating the fright of doing something wrong. In the short story, "Shitty First Drafts" by Anne Lammott, the author's method in creating her work of art is by vomiting whatever comes to mind on a specific subject and ignoring her critics until it's her turn to revise her work. It seems like if it works for more than one person then it must be a useful tool to use.

My goal in English class is to write more creatively and critically at the same time. The very relatable author Joan Didion discussed how hard college life was for her. She also touched on how difficult to was find her muse. Much like her, whenever I write I try “to buy a temporary visa in the world of ideas to forge for myself a mind that could deal with the abstract,” [Didion – 19]. But after reading her short essay I feel that I can begin to write how I want to because simply writing what is on my mind makes me a writer. It is all about the process and journey that concludes my work.

My critics are myself, my teachers, my peers, or whoever is looking over what I am writing about. Even though I have these critics to help me out, it also really psyches me out. A method that could help me that I learned while reading Lammot’s Essay titled, “Shitty First Drafts,” is to imagine trapping them somewhere and forgetting that they exist.

“Close your eyes and get quiet for a minute, until the chatter starts up. The isolate one of the voices and imagine the person speaking as a mouse. Pick it up by the tail and drop it into a mason jar. Then isolate another voice, pick it up by the tail, drop it in the jar. And so on… Then put the lid on, and watch al the mouse people clawing at the glass, jabbering away, trying to make you feel like shit…watch the frantic mice lunge at the glass, trying to get to you. Leave it down, and get back to your shitty first draft,” [Lamott – 18].
This quote shows a good way to block out all excess noise that I don’t need in my head. Writing a first draft should not be so difficult and by eliminating all advice the journey will not be so hard once I start.

Even though my first draft does not matter my proceeding ones do, as they develop into what I want to communicate in my writing. I just want my writing to be relatable or at least somewhat entertaining. The message that I make is really dependent on the story I am trying to tell. My only issue is trying to get my message across. The question I always ask myself is “how do I write without making the reader fall asleep, and get what I am saying?” I know I can’t please everyone but people are usually able to see a good piece of writing when they see one. In order to do this Mosley has taught me that I need to make writing a habit. In “For Authors, Fragile Ideas Need Loving Every Day,” The author exemplifies the fact that a simple idea can always develop even when it seems really dead. “These ideas have no physical form. They are smoky concepts liable to disappear at the slightest disturbance… Writing a novel is gathering smoke. It’s an excursion into the ether of ideas. There’s no time to waste. You must work with that idea as well as you can,” [Mosley – 161 -163]. Communicating my ideas may be difficult but the idea is to never let go of what I already started which was beautiful in my mind at some point in my life.

Some habits that I would like to develop in order to write successfully are writing frequently, or every day. What I learned from Mosley is “It doesn’t matter what time of day you work, but you have to work every day because creation, like life, is always slipping away from you,” [Mosley – 163]. This basically shows that it does not matter how many times a day or for how long I write, it matters that I eventually go back to it every day, fixing it. “All you need is to keep your heart and mind open to the work,” [Mosley – 163]. Hopefully making writing a habit will help me in achieving my other goals, including receiving an A in English class.

I imagine myself being able to write in my secret study spot in Hunter. I find no one from Manhattan Hunter Science High School hanging around there, all I see are college students attempting to study, and all they do is end up talking about is their life and adventures. Whenever people I do not know are surrounded by me I do not get distracted. Maybe it is the fear of getting criticized while doing my work is what distracts me. But when I am with people that I know I cannot concentrate. I end up acting like the college kids surrounding me in my secret study spot. So I feel that place is the perfect setting for developing my English work and to write my best.

Hopefully through all my triumphs and failures of senior year I will learn, and gain something out of this experience. It is very unusual getting in the habit of writing Fiction when all I have been doing is developing my skills as an essay writer, but with will I know I can achieve what I am expecting out of this year, or hoping to receive.